Jeffrey C. Long

I don’t handle lost things very well. I get downright psychotic when I can’t find something. The family bought me a little gadget for my keyring that beeps when you whistle so I don’t lose my keys. I go crazy when I can’t find a book. And I get so much anxiety when I am missing something that the discovery is cause for celebration. I am still reveling in the joy of discovering the Netflix DVD’s that I thought were missing.

I’ve recently discovered that one of something is never enough in a family of nine. In fact two is not enough. Take for example our TV remotes. When I am done with my day and come home and the kids are settling to bed nothing frustrates me more then discovering that both remotes are gone. Solution: I ordered two more from Ebay. Now one or two seem to go missing and eventually found… but never all three.

Sometimes one copy of a book isn’t enough. More then once I’ve ordered a cheap copy of a book that I couldn’t find. Sometimes I never find the missing book. Other times it reappears. And because I work both at home and at work, having two copies sometimes works well. I’d never purposely order a second copy of a book that wasn’t missing, but it is handy to have.

The past two times I’ve needed to cut my nails I haven’t even bothered looking for the clippers. I just go to Walgreens and buy a pair of toenail and fingernail clippers. I figure that the last pair I must have been put to good use by one of the children so another pair won’t hurt. Now, out of nowhere, there are three pair on my bathroom sink. I have no idea where they came from.

It seems that there are lessons to learn about being in a large family that no one ever teaches you. For one thing, there aren’t that many large families to learn from. So we are just left to figure these things out for ourselves. Don’t skimp. Buy that extra pair of fingernail clippers. Your wife will thank you.